Thursday, September 27, 2007

And now the BAD NEWS

Not for you...but for me.

I lost my marbles yesterday. Sorta a straw and the school busting my hump sort of thing. I got a letter warning of B's imminent suspension (the day before said suspension) because of lack of vaccine records. Shame on me, I thought these things were transferred from the previous school.

This in and of itself wouldn't have made me go bonkers, but heap it on top of unceasing letters from the teacher scolding me about how I didn't do this or that and this and that and this AND THAT wrong...only to have B come home RAGING with fever (okay, 100 degrees...but still!) and telling me the teacher took note of her not looking so hot or acting like herself but did nothing about it...well, I popped a vessel. I was going to be reasonably angry when I was on the phone until the office worker quite condescendingly began to say "North Carolina State Law says--"

what could I say?

"I'm from FUCKING New York Lady! I don't know North Carolina's State Law!"


Not my most shining moment. I know this. Yes, I eventually had to grovel and apologize...yadda yadda yadda...but I am not happy. All my research, only to find out her school is overcrowded (750 students!!), has NO school nurse save for one day a week, and is running TRIPLE bus runs! I am not a happy camper. I realize this is a heavy area of growth and that with a bureaucracy it takes a dog's age for them to friggin agree on everything, or anything for that matter, but seriously.

The staff has flawless manners....they would never even consider saying a word like fuck...but normally I wouldn't either when it came to dealing with a school or other professional arena. But it's been nothing but one thing after another since I got here, hoity expressions, highlighted, underlined and exclamation points on the teachers was "How Many Ways To Make You Feel Like An Inept Parent."

I guess I reached my end. Glass houses and all that. Send my kid home burning up like that? And yet have the nerve to send me notes about forgetting to include her initialed homework log? (It was signed but left on the table....and Bianca is literally twitchy over this! "I have to have everything or my teacher will get mad!" she says this morning as she checks and double checks.

Good thing she can;t read well enough yet to realize I sent the teacher's note right back to her with my own message attached. IT read: "You have a charming way of writing notes that make me feel like the most inept parent in the world."

Can't wait for the response to that one.


QB said...

Good for you! I HATE pompous bullies and that's what that teacher sounds like. Unfortunately, it sounds like she gets that attitude from the front office.


CinnamonGirl said...

Aw, Jacki, I'm sorry you're having such a shitty time with these people. I wasn't sure if it was the same out in West NC, but the schools in the east are notoriously in need of a lot of work (except for the colleges, which are top-notch, go figure). I think it's great that you give 'em hell for trying to push you AND B around! That's unacceptable & you're right on the money to be upset about it. Stick to your guns, girl! (Hmmm...are there any more cliches I could use? Oh my dad would say..."Spit in their left eye & make their right eye thirsty!" LOL What?!)

yikes said...

Move to the east side! We have incredible elementary schools!

Tracy said...

God I hate it when teachers make you feel like you're the worst parent in the world! Damn them! You're not an inept parent and don't let them bully you into thinking that you are! Give em hell! muah!

Caffey said...

Jac, I do understand. I dealt with my last one in school last June, so I'm glad its over. Didn't have problems with my son's school, but my daughters was so crowded and too had things happen to her and I still had to keep her in school. She had special needs too and they just didn't attend to them. So with these overcrowded schools, I hate saying this, but I don't know if anything more can be done. Its either private schools or home teaching and back then I could not do either. But don't stop standing up for your kids no matter what. Yeah we all need to take a breather before we let it out, but at the same time, we want them to see the severity of this all too!
Sending hugs, Cathie

Crystal Adkins said...

Wow you go girl! Some professional teachers if you wanna call them that don't really give a crap about kids! I dread the day Austin has to go to school.
Those people obviously know that B is new so there is no reason for them to go all ape crazed and upset a child.
I think you did the right thing :)

Jacquelyn Frank said...

Unfortunately, despite closing the master bedroom door (for the first time since moving in btw) I came out and Bianca said, "I heard all that cursin' going on in there. What was that all about?"

Sigh. Well...I am always honest with her, but last year she was in nervous knots because her mom kept telling her she hated her teacher and since B loved her teacher it made her feel guilty and torn. I told her I lost my temper because I had a misunderstanding with her school and left it at that.

Shrug...I call it straddling the truth. Now today I met my new doctor and the first thing he could think to say to me was "morbidly obese" and "surgery". Then I got to sign a "drug promise", a contract that I wouldn;t abuse my narcs and if I lost them they wouldn't replace them blah blah blah...

I feel even more welcome than before!

Stephanie*magic* said...

Jacki, i'm having the same problem with my 3rd grader and her extremly condasending teacher. my 10 YO had him 2 years ago also. We hated each other,lol. He just told my daughter in front of class yesterday that she was the last in reading. I could go on and on.So, I totally understand and feel for you.
I'm so sorry your not feeling welcome there. I wish I could help.
I really hope things get better.*sending love and hugs*

DreamWeaver said...

Oh, Jacki, I can so relate! I have 2 kids, one in college and one in middle school and I have been where you are and still have to fight the fight with my middle schooler. Let's just say if I have learned nothing else it's that the teacher/school is not always right (something MY parents totally believed in btw). I have had countless meetings with teachers and principals, not because my children were in trouble, but because I took issue with some school policy or the classroom rules. I firmly believe that one of my jobs as a parent is to be an advocate for my child. My son had a first grade teacher that was a real jerk. My son would come home (from day 1) with notes saying things like he disrupted the class "by rolling his pencil back and forth across the desk while the other kids were taking a test." I immediately responded with,"was he finished with his test?" and then "if so, then why wasn't he given something else to do while the others finished up?" Talk about a duh moment! Give me a break...he's only six you moron! Anyway, after many meetings with this teacher and the principal, the school department finally realized that the teacher was sub par and they fired his ass! Have faith Jacki, things will work out for you too and everything will settle down.

Ann said...

Boy, Jacki, you're finding all the shitheads first, aren't you? Buck up, lady, they just don't know how awesome you are. May they have their epiphany soon, and give all the crap to people who really deserve it.

Love, hugs, and froggy kisses!

Jana J. said...

As a "neighbor" (East TN, if you're in Western NC), I've got to ask if B's teacher is elderly. Some teachers get set in their ways, you know, and do offer more negative reinforcement (instead of positive). I'd imagine it's like that all over the South. Welcome!! (lol)

Talk with the teacher (and the principal, if necessary). And, good grief, if the teacher keeps harping on the negative, ask if B does anything positive. If B loves the teacher, she's gotta do something right!!

For the front office, well, Krispy Kremes do a world of good! :)


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