Thursday, September 27, 2007

And now the BAD NEWS

Not for you...but for me.

I lost my marbles yesterday. Sorta a straw and the school busting my hump sort of thing. I got a letter warning of B's imminent suspension (the day before said suspension) because of lack of vaccine records. Shame on me, I thought these things were transferred from the previous school.

This in and of itself wouldn't have made me go bonkers, but heap it on top of unceasing letters from the teacher scolding me about how I didn't do this or that and this and that and this AND THAT wrong...only to have B come home RAGING with fever (okay, 100 degrees...but still!) and telling me the teacher took note of her not looking so hot or acting like herself but did nothing about it...well, I popped a vessel. I was going to be reasonably angry when I was on the phone until the office worker quite condescendingly began to say "North Carolina State Law says--"

what could I say?

"I'm from FUCKING New York Lady! I don't know North Carolina's State Law!"


Not my most shining moment. I know this. Yes, I eventually had to grovel and apologize...yadda yadda yadda...but I am not happy. All my research, only to find out her school is overcrowded (750 students!!), has NO school nurse save for one day a week, and is running TRIPLE bus runs! I am not a happy camper. I realize this is a heavy area of growth and that with a bureaucracy it takes a dog's age for them to friggin agree on everything, or anything for that matter, but seriously.

The staff has flawless manners....they would never even consider saying a word like fuck...but normally I wouldn't either when it came to dealing with a school or other professional arena. But it's been nothing but one thing after another since I got here, hoity expressions, highlighted, underlined and exclamation points on the teachers was "How Many Ways To Make You Feel Like An Inept Parent."

I guess I reached my end. Glass houses and all that. Send my kid home burning up like that? And yet have the nerve to send me notes about forgetting to include her initialed homework log? (It was signed but left on the table....and Bianca is literally twitchy over this! "I have to have everything or my teacher will get mad!" she says this morning as she checks and double checks.

Good thing she can;t read well enough yet to realize I sent the teacher's note right back to her with my own message attached. IT read: "You have a charming way of writing notes that make me feel like the most inept parent in the world."

Can't wait for the response to that one.

First, the good news....

Here it is!! AS expected and as anticipated, LAdies and Ladies......the cover for Noah!!!

Tell me is this hot or what???

'Nuff said!

Monday, September 24, 2007


How real are your characters?

Some kids have imaginary playmates; I created whole imaginary worlds in my head and I'm still doing it. My characters become my friends and you know...I never really let them go. Not when the book is finished, not when it's finally in print...not even when I move onto something new. They're always a part of me. Just like, yes, definitely - I'm a part of them.

I've often been asked whether there is any of me in my characters. The answer is: How can it be otherwise? Amanda's (The Real Deal) initial sensual insecurity was very familiar to me when I first met my husband. Annabelle (Annabelle's Courtship) shares my interest in political issues, not to mention her propensity for getting into trouble because of her havey-cavy plans.

But the parts that are me? They're integral to a bigger whole, to a character that is more than a reflection of his or her creator, but someone who becomes very real to me. On occasions, too real...just ask my kids who no longer make the mistake of asking for anything they really want while I'm writing the black moment. When my characters are in pain or doing stupid things, I feel it. In any other profession, that might make me crazy - but as a writer, I sort of see at as essential to writing stories that are going to connect to my readers' hearts.

If I connect to my characters first, then hopefully, the link is there to be made and my readers will make it and through it, sometimes even a link to me.

I've also been asked if I model my characters after real people. The answer is a complicated one. Just like real life. :) I often recognize things in my characters that remind me of someone I know, but then that's true of living, breathing people too. How many of your friends have personality traits in common? Is it any surprise that my characters share bits of who they are and what they are like with the people that populate *my* world? However, I don't usually see these similarities until the book is in print and I'm reading it again with some distance achieved. I discovered that the lab tech Vannie in Satisfaction Guaranteed has a lot of my mother-in-law's feistiness. Simon (The Real Deal) shares a lot of traits with my husband, but I'll let you speculate which ones they are. ;-) Jillian (The Real Deal & Deal With This - Nov 07) exhibits a dichotomy of character as an actress I first saw in my baby sister.

I guess the reasons my characters are so real to me is that just like the people around me, they are layered and filled with personality quirks just like the rest of us.

Who is your favorite character from a book and if you don't mind come? Does he or she remind you of anyone you know or have met?


P.S. I almost forgot...I love giving away prizes, so I'll draw a random name from the commenters on this post and that person will win a signed copy of my latest Harlequin Presents Mediterranean Brides duo.

Monday, September 17, 2007

RAW 2007

I know you all have been patiently awaiting this post telling you all about RAW. LOL. Sorry but I am SOOO tired I needed extra sleep today plus I am still unpacking a house if you recall. All of these pics are AMY'S (thanks for sending them!!) And they will all be added to this website in the future as a memory page. RAW was a smashing success and will be held again next year and I encourage EVERYONE to come. I loved it!!

This is Ms. B and Crazy Sue. They were both wearing tails and doing the Stray Cat Strut together all day lol.

This is me having Christine Feehan palpitations! This was the PJ party. I was totally into the spirit lol. Look Ma, almost no BLACK! (Won't see that again!)

Inez, Crystal, Amy, Sally, Jules Bennet and Me at the Saturday signing.

Mary Wine, Angela Knight (and her husband the bodyguard Mike TOO SWEET!) and Lucy Monroe!!

Sylvia Day and Shayla Black getting carpal tunnel syndrome.

Veronica Chadwick and Lora Leigh

This here is Crystal and Naughty Nikki TRYING (lamely) to be eighties RAD and ROCKIN'!

This is me and Amy succeeding lol!

More RAD RAW Rockers

This is the prep time...look at my B's pink hair!~

Here is Amy, Me, Crystal and B. (At this point B was dreading another "BORING!!" day. Heh. She found a child her age shortly after.

This is Thursday night at an impromptu pizza party in Lora Leigh's cabin. I am TOTALLY getting a cabin next year! They rocked!

That's Amy, Sally (her mom) Me and Sylvia Day ans down in front is the charming Mary Wine. She looks SO much like Jane Seymour it gives me chills!

And this is Angela Knight, Amy and Me. Angela lives just minutes from me now! She was so sweet! She even invited me to go to RWA chapter meetings together. I think I did the fangirl giggle for like an hour after that.

Leave it to B to be totally unimpressed with Lora Leigh!!! That look is all "Whatever! Where's the sugar?"

And this is me getting bored with regular pics and all that professional decorum bullshit :)

And best for last, putting the rumors to rest....yes, AMY is MY bitch!

Hope you enjoyed that! Looks like fun don;t it? A more comprehensive page will be up later for you to enjoy, hopefully with some of my own pics. I think, however, that my camera is full on pics of B's nostrils. She got ahold of it and was doing self portraits for about an hour.

See you soon!

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Second Degree Burns and Gum in the Shower.

I swear, I do NOT work hard to make up the titles of my blogs. At the moment I am listening to the brat cat (Leo most likely) try to get into the cabinet in the kitchen where the cat food is stored. Mind you their bowls are hugely full. I could just have easily titled this "Fat Cats and Baby Locks) In the last house I had to have baby locks on all the cabinets because of the stupid cat. Looks like I may have to do that again.

Gum in the Shower. I went to finally take my first shower in my new home and found GUM stuck to the inside ledge as well as a used stars and stripes bandaid. EWW!! People are SO gross!! I will tackle it during daylight...or in a day or so. Why so long? Because...

Second degree burns. On my FEET. The soles of my feet. I have been a barefooter for as long as I have been alive. I have calluses three inches thick on my feet. The movers had my car blocked in so I thought nothing of walking to the bus stop to get Bianca. Halfway there I recalled I was now living in a Southern state. Apparently blacktop gets much MUCH hotter here than up north. OW. OW. So now I look like a real retard because I have burned and blistered feet at the bus stop in front of the other moms. I know they think I am a hopeless case. I would too. I have done nothing but stupid shit since I got here. I mean these are HUGE blisters. Last time I had this happen (yes, I am dumb enough to do this twice) was on LI many years ago when I left my car to walk across the campus parkinglot barefooted. Same result. The lot was much bigger than it looked at the time. By the time I realized I was burning I was already halfway across. Instead of going back for my shoes I ran the rest of the way...completely forgetting about the walk BACK to the car.

I now have a house full of boxes and I can;t walk. Sheesh. Let me mention the girl child who was SO sensitive to my pain.

B: Can we go to my friend's house?
J: No B we have a lot of work to do. Besides, I really think I hurt my feet.
B: (whining) But I want to go! You said I could go!
J: You need to help me unpack! This is your stuff too.
B: But I'm just a little girl. I can't do anything!
J: You mean you don't want to do anything. I know you want to play, but I really could use your help. I burned my feet. See the blisters?
B: (barely glances) I don't see nothing
J: Of course you don't. Regardless, I CANNOT WALK!
B: (ever sensitive) Well, there's the car!
J: (SCREAMS!!) Go to your room! GAH!!

Someone save me!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A Polite Southern Woman...I am not!

Howdy gang!

Phew. I wish I could say all this mess was finished and done with, but it isn't. I must say, there is certainly a learning curve when it comes to buying and then occupying a new house. At first I was so proud of myself for making it through the loan process and the trip down here and remembering a long list of things to do with a brain, frankly, with maybe three functioning memory cells remaining. Yay me! I remembered the cats. Yay! I remembered the child! YAY!! I remembered to turn on the electric and the phone/cable/wireless which is allowing me to write to you tonight. YAY me!

Okay enough of that. So I forgot a few things along the way. Who cares? Right? No one really needs the gas turned water is seriously overrated. Water in and of itself...well, at least I had it still in spite of not switching it to my name. Remember, I am a long long long time apartment owner. We don;t pay for all these little details. Hey, I was thrilled to find a subdivision where for 60 bux a month they do your lawn for you (weed whacking and all!) and take the trash away! Ha! Closest thing to a condo a gal can get. Only...I can keep the cats. Right? Oh and I can yell and not worry someone will hear me. Well...once I get furniture in here. The echo off these ceilings is ridiculous. But what I truly forgot...or rather did not grasp the concept of, is just how much furniture a three bedroom house is going to require.

Oh shit. And I have Ethan Allen taste on an author's budget. Ruh roh.

On the plus side, I got the former owner's dining set for a steal. On the minus side, I hate the rugs. I want wood floors and I want them NOW. Hell, every time I step out of the dining room my foot hits the tacking strip under the rug and I can feel it straight through. And don't you know, I never EVER seem to miss the damn thing. Damien already tore up the rug in my soon-to-be-okay-maybe-not-cuz-I-can't-afford-a-desk office. My bedroom is an ugly gold color and the bathroom a fashionable shit brown. I mean seriously...who paints a bathroom shit brown? There has to be a joke here somewhere. But otherwise they had great taste in paint. Wish I could say the same for Bianca. No amount of coaxing is going to get me out of painting that room of hers pink and purple. Luckily she let me choose the shades. I chose the fairest of pastels so it wouldn't hurt so much, but I have a feeling it's going to look like a nursery once the white furniture comes. (Ethan Allen. ADORABLE!!! And quite capable of growing with her and putting up guests. Hint hint, Laura, Tanya, Renee...everyone!)

Looks like I will be the last to get anything (well, discounting the new BBQ and the washer and dryer and the HD TV-40 inches!! WOOWOO! Size does matter!!) as far as household furnishings are concerned. I got B a queen sized bed in the hopes that finally she will stop rolling off and hitting the floor. HEh. I'll let you know. Her bathroom is simple and Victorian in decor...little roses. She wasn't pleased. She wanted a cross between Sponge Bob and Fairies.

Umm...I think NOT. Yes, yes I am mean. Yes, I never get you anything. Yes, I am no fun. Now move over so I can sleep in the only bed in the house, under your new bedding, staring at your new school clothes, your DS Lite, your DVR, your...well, let's just say I have good cause for buying B clothes stamped with SPOILED, PRINCESS and BRAT on them. Hehehe.

I have only been in the house 36 hours or so and already met half the moms on the block and feel highly inadequate. Their homes are darling...I don't do darling. I do solid, matching, and utilitarian....liberally decorated with cat themed items. Oh the pressure! Just slap my ass and call me Gerard Butler, I am as Spartan as they come. Well...unless we talk books. Yeah. No Spartan going on there. And hey, WTF am I going to do with all my erotica I used to keep front and center on the bookcases?

Hehehe...why, keep it there, of course. Better to weed out the prissy sorts right off the top.

Complaint Department:
How can we help you? washer and dryer fixtures are...well, how to say this...fucked.
Ma'am, what do ya'll mean by...umm...that?
I mean I bought two gorgeous front loading machines, paid a fortune for the pedastals to raise those puppies up so I wouldn;t have to bend over when doing my own wash in my own home for the first time in years, only come to find out the washer is on the dryer side and the dryer on the washer side so that the doors in the front of the machines hit back to back.
Back to back, Ma'am?
Yes, as in I can't unload the washer and toss it into the dryer! The doors are in the way! I have to drop it in a basket, close the door to one machine, open the other, bend over and load the dryer.
Wow, Ma'am. That's totally fucked!
That's all I'm sayin'!

Moving truck comes tomorrow. I bet this REALLY gets fun now!

BTW, I am loving every minute of this.

see you guys soon,
hugs and kitties

Monday, September 3, 2007

What is Escrow and Why Does it Make me Think of Cooked Snails?

Very likely this is because all of this house buying BS is as foriegn to me as the idea of people eating baked snails....voluntarily. Eww. I mean EWW!! Seriously, people! That's like Indiana Jones food! Right up there with the chilled monkey brains!

My house closing failed to take place this Friday. (Woe and alas, getting my ass in my house on time seemed much less important to the title company than their bonny three day vacation plans.) Bad Jacki for trying to screw that up on them!

At least B got to start school. She says she loves it. I am very relieved. They aren;t as touchy feely liberal as the NY schools, and something tells me that will be a good thing for her. For me have come to the dreadful understanding that I am a witch who has just moved into the Bible Belt. Certainly not the buckle...dead center DEEP SOUTH middle of the bible belt...but a notch or two in to be sure. Within 24 hrs of hanging around here I was convinced I'd be nailed to a cross and set on fire before dawn the next day.

Okay, so I'm paranoid. Maybe. But I AM pretty out there...but one person attempted to comfort me by telling me these two facts: 1. Asheville is number 3 in the country for having more gaysw per capita. *snicker* And Asheville's website has something called "The Freaks of Asheville" linked off their site leading to a large bohemian underground lifestyle full of radical weirdoes.

"Gee...uh...thanks!" I said to my normal, tall cut-from-Colgate-ads mattress salesman. So it took me a while to realize he thought I was a radical lesbian. I felt very butch. I wanted to release a manly fart, but alas my IHOP pancakes hadn't hit me just yet.


I have to laugh about it. And I am tired of playing it safe with B too. Today she was playing with my in the pool and started screaming that I was a wicked witch. I told her to stop that I really didn't like her talking to me like that. She didn't get it.

So being the adult I am I start taunting in return: "Bianca's an evil, wicked Christian!" After explaining what a Christian was (*head desk*)I explained to her that people were good and bad equally no matter shape, size, shade or religion.

Mix lesson gently with repitition and two aspirin. Repeat as necessary...

2010-11 Jacquelyn Frank All Rights Reserved. Web Design by Author Web Designs By Tara , Maintenance by George Waterman Web Design | Email Webmaster