All things being personal

Hi there. I know I am a day late, but I have been prepping for my NY trip which then leads into my Cincinnati trip. I'll be at the Lori Foster get together so, anyone who is going please look me up! Also, I have a bunch of baskets I put in going out to raffle. Two of them will have Noah's ARC (sounds like Noah's ARK!! ROFL!!!) in them. It's for a whole bunch of good causes, and you know I am a sucker for a good cause! So please take part if you are going to be there!

Now on to all things personal. I figured I would share this with you all since I share everything else, and it's something that can potentially affect my presence here for a while. After RAW in September, I am going to be scheduling gastric bypass surgery for myself. As terrifying as it sounds, that's about how scared I am. But I am more afraid of dying young...and dying without ever having lived my life to the fullest. Food is my curse, one that no one can throw off completely. When I say I have tried EVERYTHING else first, I really do mean it. Those of you who have met me in person must see how I struggle, how frustrating it is for me to live with both morbid obesity and fibromyalgia. The fibromyalgia will most likely never go away, not as severe as it is for me, but carrying around a whole other person most certainly makes it worse, and shedding that other person will most certainly help. In all things.

Before making this choice, I asked myself to give 25 reasons why I would want to do this sort of thing. They rolled off of the top of my mind without hesitation. Some were simple, vain things...but most were about the quality of my life. This is a drastic decision, not to be entered lightly by anyone. But I have chosen a top class surgeon, one who has done this over a thousand times. In all those instances, he has had only one mortality...and that was from an unexpected heart arrhythmia...more likely due to the patient's obesity that the surgery.

I was still hesitant just the same, that fear thing again, plus I don;t like being spoon fed my resources. I turned to someone I knew who had been through it. Angela Knight. I don't think she'll mind me mentioning we've talked, she's very open about it in her blogs and such. It was a good perspective, a real one, and we spoke for hours. I think I am much better prepared for it. But I also know I will be talking to her again and again for a variety of reasons.

Why am I sharing this with you? So that you understand why I am too weak to write to you for months afterward. So that you understand how stressful the progress toward it will be for me. You won;t see it affect my work for at least a year or better, but somewhere down the line there will be a hiccup in the pacing of my releases. Worst case scenario, that is. But the hope is that I will bounce back better than ever, that I will be healthy for my tour of Australia and London. That I will be more comfortable than ever before as I sleep in flat hotel room beds. That I will have the energy to walk and sight see as I haven't done in years. Decades. It's too late for me to repair the damage done to my uterus, which was removed last year, but perhaps I will find the energy and health and well being I need to become a foster mother...or to adopt a child. I have so much to offer now, and so little hope if I don't do something.

I hope you don't mind if I share parts of the journey with you. It will be mostly about needing your support, or a place to vent, or, hopefully, my best resource. You. You've all been by my side for some time now. Making me who and what I am. I know you are the best place to turn because you've proven to be kindhearted, generous and loyal to a fault. I'll be selfish and I'll need you a lot. I just thought I'd warn you!!

Now, I have one other favor to ask. If you have won a prize from me (other than the RIF covers) please email me with the name of the prize as the subject line and you snail mail please. I have a lot of names here and no idea who won which prize. My assistant will be mailing them out while I am away but I need to know how to sign what before then. I don't want you to have to wait til I come back on June 8th. Do this quickly, I leave tomorrow morning and I only have a day stopover in between next week.

Meanwhile, I want to run a new contest :) This one will be bunches of fun. I want to call it the Rumpelstiltskin contest. I have a middle name. Oh yes, and it's a pretty one. I like it. But no one out the knows what it is unless they are my very best of real life friends. So...that means if you want to know what it is, you have to figure out the name. Here are your clues. It has eight letters. It is the title of a song. The name of a winery. And it means "Who is like God".

Everyone who gets it right enters a drawing for a Noah ARC. :) Be careful. You only get one guess!! Send all entries to the usual email: jacquelynfrank@hotmail.com and I will pick a winner when I come back from my NY trip and before I go to Ohio. Good luck!

And don't forget, Damien hits the shelves tomorrow!! (Yes, the date was moved again!!) Go and get him!! The buzz is pretty sweet so far! And I was #69 on B and N the other day!! (Great number huh? Suits me so well!!) Let kick ass!!

Hugs and kitties to all of you!
Jacki