Results

Don't we all just love good results?

Ugh...I wish I wasn't so damn tired or I would be my usual witty self, but alas, I am wiped out and so is all my humor. Plus, my niece is throwing a huge hissy fit (called a tantrum at her age I suppose) and it's giving me a genuine headache.

Dear Jane(s),

Stop reading here. In fact, stop reading my blogs, since I seem to bother you so much. You aren't welcome anyway you snide, sanctimonious, judgmental bitches.

Hugs and kitties,
Jacki

Where was I? Oh yes...I have court today. I'm trying to keep my foot in the door with regards to Bianca and guardianship. She is slipping away, but I want to at least maintain some kind of legal access to her in the event her mother gets herself dead or something.

Having my young niece here, tantrums and all, has brought up a lot of emotions. I spent the past two weeks avoiding her like a mini plague, not realizing I was doing so at first. But we prepared a room for her using a lot of Bianca's left behind toys...and it just plain hurt to see it all. I got mad at myself for getting excited about seeing her play with all that stuff. I mean I know you can't just trade the presence of one child for another and expect it to appease you in some way. I couldn't figure out what I thought I was looking forward to. Soon I was dreading the whole thing. It was weird, actually. I had never met Talia, my niece, in all her five years. Never spoke to her either.

It's probably not easy to understand, but I am the kind of person who can't hold distant attachments very well. I don't understand it myself entirely. I think, though, it's because I can't bear missing people. I am so stinkin sensitive that it is really painful for me to miss hugs and kisses and giggles and yes, even tantrums. So I suppose I distance myself. Emotionally for certain, in methods of contact as well. Or so I think. I never really examined it before this moment, but I have always fallen out of touch with distant friends and family. Until recently, I'd forget birthdays, didn't bother with holiday cards, things like that. Things my father did, actually, that used to tick me off. I could say it's his fault because he raised me like this, and it would partly be true, but I firmly believe that as adults there's a point when you have to stop whining about how your folks screwed up your life and simply create your adulthood on your own terms. It's not a process you can accomplish in a single snap, though. So I suppose a couple of years back I recognized how much I sucked at keeping in touch and I made a concentrated effort to be better at it.

I just didn't realize until now why I avoided people I loved so much. This issue with Bianca, and now with Talia's arrival in my life, has made me understand it's all part of my need to detach in order to avoid pain. After all, don't we all hate to hurt for the most part? Don't we all work hard to avoid it?

Unfortunately it took my niece slowly creeping under my guard to make me realize that it wasn't fair to shut myself off from her just because my relationship with another little girl hurts me. Her entire personality is different. Her voice, mannerisms and all. Her insecurities. Her little girl giggle that's just so irresistible and infectious. She's sucking me in, and that's okay. More than okay. One day caring about her may, indeed, come to be a painful thing for me...but I have to say that it's a sort of a fair trade for getting to enjoy those giggles and smiles and staticky hair that stands straight out like a furiously rubbed troll doll. But I hope I can be forgiven for my self-protective behavior. It's become ingrained in me after forty years of being gouged to the emotional quick by one thoughtless person or another. But there is enough nastiness and viciousness out there waiting for me (ie: Janes) without me anticipating it in innocent places.
I just figured to share that with those of you who have followed me through the Bianca debacle. A strange sort of update on the matter.

As for results, I owe you the results of a contest :) I know, it took a whole week. What can I say? I have five adults, two kids and 8 cats in the house all of a sudden. It's a bit overwhelming!

Third place prize question and answer:

Third Place Question and Corresponding Prize-

Name three famous human/cat combined characters in movies or literature. (ie: Catwoman*)

There are many answers, these are the winner's:

Delilah D'Artigo from Yasmine Galenorn's Changeling (a were-cat that takes the shape of a housecat)
Wren Tigarian from Sherrilyn Kenyon's Unleash the Night (a Katagaria hybrid mix of a Snow Leopard and a White Tiger who can take human form)
Hermione Jean Granger from "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" ( she makes the Polyjuice Potion where she uses a hair from Millicent Bulstrode's robe which ends up turning her into Bulstrode's cat in human form for a period of time

Beth P is the winner. Congrats hun. Send me your address with the names of your prizes in the subject line! (Cuz otherwise you'll get filed away and forgotten!)

Second place question and answer is:

Second Place Question and Corresponding Prize -

Besides the Demons, what it the first breed of Nightwalker we meet in the series?

The answer is DRUIDS...not Vampires! Heh...I know, sneaky of me...but what did you expect :P

The winner of the Damien ARC and nightshirt is:
Evelyn J! Congrats. Email me your addy please with the names of your prizes in the subject line.

First Place Question and Corresponding Prize -

How many miles is it from where I used to live to where I live now? (your answer must be within 20 miles)

I used to live in Saugerties NY and currently live in the Asheville, NC area. According to Mapquest, it's 772 miles distance. With the 20 mile leeway, that makes Shari C the winner with her answer of 792 miles. Phew, Shari! You just made it!! Now you will be my guest at RT Pittsburgh at my party!! Not to mention your shiny new signed cover of Noah. Send me your addy for the latter and don't forget to write the name of your prize in the subject line.

Well, that's it for now folks! We're back to regular blogs for a while now :) Thanks so much to everyone who played along. We had some great responses to the contest...the competition keeps rising! Don't be discouraged and make certain you keep trying. I'll see you soon.

Hugs and Kitties
Jacki Frank.